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Posts matching the query string: Tag=Sex.

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1. Saddlebacking TAGS: Crude. Cyber Life. Funny. Language. Politics. Pr0n. profanity. Saucy. Sex. Text. USA.
2. Porn: Good for us? TAGS: Psychology. Saucy. Science. Sex.
3. Dreams and Controversy TAGS: Cyber Life. Faith. MARTIAL. Philosophy. Politics. Psychology. Ramblings. Relations. Self Improvement. Sex. TECH. Thoughts. Violence.

I've read Dan Savage's sex-advice column Savage Love before, and while it is well done, it frequently pushed well past my personal comfort level. I am not a very profane person but I do appreciate those who are versed in the poetic art, and Savage has even pushed it into the realm of politics with santorum [W].

In case he takes the site down at some point, I'm going to archive its content here:

Saddlebacking: sad•dle•back•ing ˈsa-dəl-ˈba-kiŋ vb [fr. Saddleback Church] (2009): the phenomenon of Christian teens engaging in unprotected anal sex in order to preserve their virginities

After attending the Purity Ball, Heather and Bill saddlebacked all night because she’s saving herself for marriage. Unfortunately her parents found out because they got santorum all over the sheets.

Savage is also capable of non-political profanity as he did with pegging [W].

No correlation has even been found between exposure to porn and calloused attitudes toward women.

What does correlate highly with sex offense is a strict, repressive religious upbringing. Richard Green too has reported that both rapists and child molesters use less pornography than a control group of "normal" males.

Porn has also driven a fair amount of computer development. The reddit thread has some material both goofy and thoughtful.

Just a recently: I woke up from a dream, then I let my mind wander, and then I realized that I was not likely to go back to sleep. Usually I lay there and try to go back to sleep if it's early enough, but today I've decided to try writing.

First I'm going to write about the kinds of dreams that wake me up. Why first? Because I want to write about it while I'm fresh from sleep. I can't say for sure because I haven't been logging it and therefore have no data collected, but I think I'm waking up more easily these days.

It seems that all I need is a dream that changes my heart rate a bit and that wakes me up. Here are typical dreams that wake me up:

• I'm having a social, romantic or sexual encounter that's heating up. I wish I could stay asleep and enjoy the good ones. I don't mind interrupting the bad ones, but I would prefer to do without the mental aftertaste. In the dream that woke me up up this morning, I was talking to some girl in high school (I don't recall who), and she kissed me out of the blue, and I popped awake.
• I'm about to die, am dying, or have died and have continued onto some afterlife. Whether good or bad, these are usually very interesting. Just last night I dreamt that I was hand scribbling some notes in bed as an elderly person; then I realized that my time was arriving so I noted the time and told myself "oh good, I have enough time to wrap up my current notes."; then I could feel my awareness of my body functions, especially my breathing and heart rate, slow and slip away until my time arrived; then I was in utter null for a few moments and then I thought that I would either really die or wake up; then I woke up.
• Some amplified embarrassment or difficulty at school, work, or life. I don't recall any of my dreams specifically at the moment but others have written of this type of dream before.
• I've also had dreams of motion (flying, swimming, running, fighting, etc.) or dynamic visualizations (EG: Permutations of geometric formations), but I can sleep through those except that sometimes there's a sudden change: In the motion dreams, my leg may suddenly twitch. In the visual dreams, the visuals may suddenly alter or stop.

Enough about dreams. Next I wanted to jot down a few notes about general topics of controversy (sex, violence, religion, and politics) and parsing them with simple tools (preferences, consent, and tolerance).

• Sex. People have different personal sexual preferences. As long as there's consent between people having a private sexual encounter, then people should be tolerant. Morally defensible sexual complaints can be made against lack of consent, such as rape or public lewdness (the latter is "sexual second-hand smoke"); or cases of public safety (STDs), or unintended pregnancies, or social relationships. However protesting against consensual private sex acts just because it conflicts with your personal taste is not morally defensible. Folks also use religion for sexual intolerance but that's beyond the realm of rationality.
• Violence. Intensity (whether physical, chemical, financial, emotional, geologic, etc.) is amoral violence; it's moral violence that's controversial. Some cases of moral violence are easy (such as clear self-defense), but others are more interesting. A pen is tolerable because it's most likely to be used for writing, but it could also be used for mortal reasons. A knife is similar: I could use it for utility or mortality. A sword or gun has no utility and is all mortality -- although there are other factors such as deterrence, defense, and physical/character development in martial arts. Some people have guns. Some nations to have nukes. Violence is not just concerned with the quality of life but the existence of it. Tolerance for pens/knives/guns is a matter of taste: I have taste for it and obstructing it interferes with tolerance for self-defense, but others may not have a taste for it and rely on the police/military for defense. Going by the "tolerance for all but the intolerant" principle, most folks have a lower tolerance for nukes because nukes may be intolerant of our entire species: As species we can recover from many mistakes but not a mistake in nuclear war.
• Religion. For most people their preferences on religion was probably set by their parents and their environment. Some are able break out of a mold and see outside of the box or cave (a la Plato); they may go into another box but awareness boxes is key. Going by the "tolerance for all but the intolerant" principle, most religions should be tolerant of other religions; The exceptions are those that have hubris in their dominance. I'm a humanist: I don't care what your religion/box is as long as we can discuss our important differences rationally or productively. What I dislike most about religion is that it closes so many conversations.
• Politics. Politics in the sense of "promoting and protecting your own interests" is something everyone does and should do. However while science demands truth, politics does not; Politics is about winning, getting the votes, persuasion, spinning, and so on. In spite of the Web's potential for more information, transparency, diversity, discussion, etc., the Web also has great potential for misinformation, redirection, propaganda, herded audiences, echo rooms, and so on. People are so concerned about winning, looking good, justifying their gut feelings, etc., that productive discussions between diverse views are scarce. We need politicians skilled in politics who engaged with by experts and large groups, both of which are diverse, bold, informed, and engaged. That's what we should do on the Social Web.

OK, that's enough for now. It's several hours since I woke up. On with my day.

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